★ OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN HQ ★DONALD CHICKEN FOR 2028★ PAID FOR BY NOBODY ★
★ Live on Solana · 2028 Cycle ★
Donald Chicken
Half bird. Half statesman. 100% electable.
The only presidential candidate with feathers, a spray tan, and a coherent tariff policy. Running on a platform of corn, coops, and Making America Cluck Again. On Solana, because the electoral college is broken.
MAKE AMERICA CLUCK AGAIN★$CLUCK 2028★EVERY POT A CHICKEN★BUILD THE COOP★MAKE AMERICA CLUCK AGAIN★$CLUCK 2028★EVERY POT A CHICKEN★BUILD THE COOP★
Exhibit I
The Candidate.
Four colors. Four portraits. One absolutely unqualified bird. Any of them would still win a primary.
Fiery Red
Molten Gold
Patriot Blue
Classic Cream
DRAIN THE SWAMP★IT'S FULL OF FOXES★$CLUCK★CORN IS KING★CLUCKITY CLUCK★DRAIN THE SWAMP★IT'S FULL OF FOXES★$CLUCK★CORN IS KING★CLUCKITY CLUCK★
Exhibit II
The Platform.
Five promises. All feathered. Each one more corn-based than the last.
Promise 01
Every Pot a Chicken
A chicken in every pot. A pot in every kitchen. A kitchen in every home. A home in every neighborhood. A neighborhood in every city. We will handle the specifics after the election.
Promise 02
Build the Coop
We will build a beautiful, beautiful coop. The best coop. And you know who's going to pay for it? The foxes. I've been saying this for years. Nobody says it better than me.
Promise 03
Make Corn Great Again
Corn is the lifeblood of this nation. Corn on the cob. Corn syrup. Corn chips. Corn futures. Corn pools. If it contains corn, we endorse it. If it doesn't, it's probably fake news.
Promise 04
Drain the Swamp
There are foxes in the swamp. There are weasels in the swamp. There are raccoons in the swamp. On Day One, we are draining that swamp. And we're paving it. And we're putting a Cracker Barrel on it.
Promise 05
Open the Skies
Chickens deserve to fly. It's in the Constitution. Look it up. Some say I made this up. I did not make this up. Eagles fly. Hawks fly. Why not chickens? We will see to it.
Promise 06
On-Chain Cluck
All cluck records will be recorded immutably on the Solana blockchain. No chicken will be forgotten. No cluck left behind. Liquidity pool burned. Certified 100% organic degen.
Exhibit III
The Polls.
Sourced from absolutely reputable coops across all 50 states, plus a few barns.
Among chickens
97%
±3% margin of cluck
Among roosters
61%
Competitive primary
Among foxes
0%
As expected
Electoral College
∞
Feathered sweep
★ VOTE $CLUCK ★NOBODY CLUCKS BETTER★BELIEVE IN COOP★TARIFFS ON CORN IMPORTS★VOTE $CLUCK★NOBODY CLUCKS BETTER★BELIEVE IN COOP★TARIFFS ON CORN IMPORTS★
Exhibit IV
Join the Rally.
Four steps. Faster than a primary in Iowa.
01
Get a Solana Wallet
Install Phantom. Free, fast, no foxes involved. Save your seed phrase. Never share it.
02
Fund with SOL
Buy SOL on any exchange. Send it to your wallet. Even $20 makes you a donor.
03
Open Jupiter
Head to jup.ag. Connect your wallet. Best routes in the coop.
04
Swap SOL → $CLUCK
Paste the CA from the top of this page. Set slippage 1-3%. Confirm. You just voted. Democracy.
Exhibit V
The Manifesto.
Signed by the candidate, witnessed by the coop.
Total Supply1,000,000,000
Buy Tax0%
Sell Tax0%
Liquidity Pool100%
LP TokensBurned
Team AllocationZero
Private SaleNever
Campaign DonationsAccepted (SOL)
Donald Chicken
Candidate, Chief Clucker
Signed on
April MMXXVI
Vote $CLUCK.
A vote for $CLUCK is a vote for feathers, corn, and on-chain democracy. A vote for nobody else is also a vote for $CLUCK. Either way, $CLUCK wins.
